Madness you say?

Not all who wonder are lost

Wow.
[info]cazzcage

I walked up to my friend Mayla (I have no nickname for her....) (...yet!) and told her that my boobs were bleeding now we have a inside joke that goes with me saying "guess what bleeding today." She finds it very funny and people around us twitch a little.   
 
{I was thinking of getting a lip ring. Mom hates the jewelry because it the one of the one that you can see. She like the ones I have cause I can hide them. I may go to a parlor or underground. I know it not good to go to underground but everyone in this business was underground at one time. I  normally have my finger on the new hired at the parlor. The new girl that I know called Kadaver is very good ! I may steal a tattoo from her boyfriend.}

That if I am not with child. I like saying that more then saying I may be pregnant. It still to early to tell. I have not even been late. I just worry a lot. I'll start buying test at the end of this week if it still has not come. Those dang daydreams are back. I am trying to push them out buuuut I kind of like them. I am starting to think that a nightmare is better them these little evil cute dreams.



it 9:39 but it feel like 2 am
[info]cazzcage
(sigh) It's that time of the month. This means a week of bloated and weird feelings. Part of me think I made a huge mistake yesterday. Psyko and I had sexy time and I was on the white pill. The white pill does not protect from a baby. So that means that I have a small chance of a mini human. A small chance. It gotten to a point where I don't care.


Good news, Bad news and Shiny news!
[info]cazzcage
Bad news: Psyko has cabin fever. He has the moniter on for 2 more weeks and he driving me bloody batty. He can't see the guys cause all they want to do is smoke. I am happy he stop smoking weed. Vampi hates that Riddler smokes. But upon not see the guys he getting really board. Someone is killing psyko's pit bulls. 4 days ago the big one (named Zeuas) was hit by a car. This is the 2nd time a day has been hit when he was on the leash. That means someone pulling into the driveway and hitting them.

Good news: I got my prom dress and my cuts or almost all the way healed. I have got to get my carma and start taking pics.

Shiny news:  I have a new piercing. My boobs are really sore but I love them. THey bled and Psyko when he saw them do went "Damn baby!"


I come back to school and what do I find.
[info]cazzcage

 

I am welcome to the hallway by a snogging vampii. You think that me standing there would tell them to knock it off and talk to me but no. They just stayed at it. at one point I said "BREATH" . I tried to tell her of yesterday and she was just biting and making gooy eye at riddler. I am hurt. Vampii talked so much shit about bubbles that it was almost bubble-bashing (sounds kind of fun)  but she won't she her faults.

I am not saying I perfect but I try really hard to not hang all over psyko (cause one he does not like it) and I don't like see a women do that to herself. I have a funny story but no timr to tell it

I did work today! Still no work for the jobs I look at.

Tags:

Insaneness
[info]cazzcage
I feel like I ve been hit by a truck and it's all from my head. Around 2 am I woke up with the feeling that I had been shot in the head. Just extreme pain . I must have somehow got to the bathroom because I remember a bright light. I think I was checking to see if I was shot. I thew up and call mom. The rest is a blurr till about 7 am. That when I was in the E.R. I am not really clear on what was wrong with me cause I had feel good drugs pumping in me. I have been in bed all day. Thank god I found the laptop.

I think it was from stress and sickness. 

My grandparents were almost scammed. It call the grandchild scam. Someone calls pertending to be the child and said that they in canada in jail or the E.R going to jail. They then ask for money about 2,000 to 4,000. Asking the grandparents to not tell the parents. They called pretending to be chris. Grandpapa was so close to doing it but he told grandmama and so freak out calling mom and the cops.  Even after they heard chris on my phone they sill didn't belived me!


Cont from morning post
[info]cazzcage

Just to be clear my boyfriend does not beat me in anyway. I could say something really dirty . Anywho He only hit me when I become a dumbass and cut myself even then it only the cuts and then he kisses them. It something I struggle with for 4 or 5 years. THe fight with mom was just the straw to break the  carmel back. If I had not cut it would have been almost a year of no marks.


BUt the past is in the past. As in the drama of last night. It just someone said something and people heard something elas now it one big game of who said what. I am just peeve that my name got drag into this. It just this one girl who keeps running her mouth. There only so much a person can take ! Normally I don't give a rats ass about what people say but she's just so.......she rubs me the wrong way. I sound mean now. 

Psyko getting his monitor, he is not happy at all. It has GPS in it so he thinking "they" know where I am at, at all time. It driving him up the wall. I can't help but laugh. There nothing really more to write about .  


monday
[info]cazzcage

Well this has been a good weekend. I spent alot of time with psyko, got in a fight with mom. So all in all it's been  good. I cut alittle on my arm the day I got into a fight with mom. Psyko saw this during sexy time. He didn't hit me this time. I have yet to see if that a good or a bad thing. I'll stop oneday. Ther eis so much drama going on with this one chick. Agg there not that much time left, I can't tell.

I'll post it later :}


To cont for last post
[info]cazzcage

Athena is so pretty. She was the runt of the litter , so little cute


I am so sleepy right now maybe write later

I swear I am older in mind then in age! and Babay news
[info]cazzcage

Vampii is so weird with her boyfriend. She does not want to be like our  friend Wren who left us for her boyfriend and now never is happpy unless her boyfriend is glued to her side. Vampii (before the riddler came along)  talked about  how she hated when wren did that. Now vampii doing that !

Yesterday and the day before yesterday was my day with psyko (wifey time). It was kind of cute yesterday Silver called me to see if he could still go out to see psyko. I was all "aw you fear me so much you have to ask." Anyways it's a guy date today. Riddler and Silver both skipped school to see psyko (he reallly happy about see them)

Today I get a text saying hurry I need you! I rush to school to find vampii all upset that riddler is not there.
She starts trash-talking riddler trying to play the victim. I personally can not stand it when a women can not stand on her own two feet. It bugs the hell out of me.

Her logic for doing all this is "I don't get to see him that much." Yeah the whole glomping thing at lunch is really getting old.  I just want to slap so sence into her.

I got a baby!! Her name athena and she's  a pit puppy. I'll post a pic of her and psyko soon


Yay
[info]cazzcage

He's back he's back  he's back he's back  he's back he's back  he's back he's back  he's back he's back  he's back he's back he's back he's back  he's back he's back  he's back he's back  he's back he's back  he's back he's back  he's back he's back he's back *does happy dance*

 
Psyko is back. He has finally gotten out of jail. It has be a long week. I was sitting at sonic when I got the call. (sigh) This weekend I feel is going to be great. I get to see him and Chris (my brother)  is going to be away from the home. Psyko also asked me to live with him. If the fights with chris still go on as they have been I may just take him on that offer. Mom and dad both know that the moment I can I am leaving. Forever. It getting to a point to were I rather be homeless then live with chris.

It just so much anger in that house and it all from him. We talk to him he get anger, We watch tv he get anger. He lie drinks and smokes. I tell my girlfriends about chris and they tell me go with psyko or kick him out.

Today is just a happily piss off day. 
 
Like today Ali said something that made me so mad!  She implied that I was unfaithful to Psyko. I have a hickey on my neck (Psyko did it cause he miss me)  and Ali  didn't know he was back. SHe points them out and said "Look like you had some side fun" 
(I nearly took her head off)

Vampii feel the same you just don't say that.


HE BACK!!
[info]cazzcage
Psyko is back. He was to come back today but I got a call yesterday. I miss him so much. More later. Got to go to class!

(no subject)
[info]cazzcage

I getting a little on the worried side.  The are a 3 boys who have taken to much interest in me.  At first I thought maybe they were just alittle weird, No one like them and they were the outcast. I started talking to them and being nice.
 
the first One is name monty a little freshmen he follows me around and trieds to be funny by playing " I don't get the joke."   It was funny at first by now it's getting old. I feel bad for the little guy but he has my clases memorized !!

The second is nick a sophomore. He tells me about dreams he had with me in them. I don't even want to know. When my boyfriend was arrested, Nick got very happy. He always asks "when is Psyko getting out" or "are you lonely."  When he tried to give me a hug but I back away. 

The last one is the one that gives me the creeps. He a teacher and he said some really odd thing. I am going to point out that he has never touch me in any way.  Now I ice skate. He always ask about my ice skating like what  practice times are, Is it ok for people to watch. Stuff like that. It just really creepy. I can't wait for Psyko to come back.

on to a lighter note.

Psyko is coming back in a day and a half ! I miss him so much. It only been about a month but god it feels like forever. I don't know what I would have done if it was the full 4 months. Poor baby. He going to be on house arrest for the next 3 months. He is not happy at all but at lest I get to see him and this mean I will get out of the house.

Right now my house is a war zone (aka World war O). It all Chris's  fault. He can't take any blame and thionk he runs the house. What more is he gets drunnk and still get want he was. As soon as I can I am getting out.

I 've even gone so far as to try to get pregnant to get out of the house. Mom said if I ever got pregnant I am on my own. RIght now that sounds really good.


PUBLISHED WRITER HERE
[info]cazzcage
I am going to published !! Just one poem. Hopefully will be the beginning of a long long list. I find it kind of funny that I'll be published in english. I know it's not much but I feel very proud.

so mean
[info]cazzcage
We (Me and Vampii) are going to put Psyko and Riddler in Dresses !

Waiting will be the death of me.
[info]cazzcage

Psyko (maybe) getting out !  Today is the morning of his court date, If all goes well then he'll be out around 3 o clock. I was writing to him all week but due to a set of rules he never got them ( I am not in the family). Only close family could see him (again not in the family yet). He said he misses me and loves me. I hope  he comes home. I had to deal with my sister death date alone and I didn't cut at all. I am so proud ! THis week has been hard for everyone. Hothead (my brother) went to court too but he has to wait long to find out if he goes to prison. Bubbles (Wren {my bestfriend})  her dad died. Overnight. They think he Od he was only 47.  She acting really really weird. Vampii has a new boyfriend (Riddler) at first I didn't like it cause they were making out everywhere. And the fact that he looks (and acts) a little like Psyko! I was messing with him cause he reminded me of him. I should get to work but man I don't feel like it. Bah I just want to find out what going to happen to Psyko.

Psyko
[info]cazzcage
He gone. He check himself in. At 10:48,I never got to say I love you . We still going out but he not here.

So I just got fuck over by my friends's mom.
[info]cazzcage
So I was going to buy a puupy for my friend's mom. For $50 (it a mutt) I thought I was getting a puppy with all it's shots and no wroms. I just fround out that I am getting not getting any of that !! I love my friend but her mom wants nothing but money.

(no subject)
[info]cazzcage
Drawing up a budget


HELP

Why and Whys
[info]cazzcage
Arrg why is it. Every time I post in some place other them my journal,People go crazy with "TROLL TROLL". What do I have to do to saw people I am not a troll. I am just very bad at english! I find that people in the state are the worst at doing this(not all but a good number of them). I normaly don't talk out in public,I let my boyfriend do all the ordering and talking. I really hate when people find out English is not my natvie they say "speak !" or let out a string of cuss words they want me to say even if I am not compy saying those words!

I am getting a puppy !! and Writing
[info]cazzcage
I am getting a puppy, Part pug and part Shiz shu. Shiug or Pugshu. It a boy and he white with black,brown spots. Naming him is the hard part,it ether Daggett or Beedlebug or Buzzurlbee. In the litter there 2 girls and 3 guys ,both girls are all brown and the boys are like mine. He was biggest one and he growel and Mews alot so for a little time he was called motorboat :). I have yet to tell mom.

I writing so much in my story. It makes me happy ! but I have stumble on to some writers block :( It all planed out but it just writing it ddown that blocking me.

On to Psyko. He gotten kickout of his home and his older brother was moved in. He move in with his friend and his mom, For a little bit he live in the house but they lost the house then everyone move into Psyko's unkle house but have gotten kick out to. SO now they were living at the bar (everyone works there) the they got a camper and are living in that. He won't leave them. He going to move on when they get a home. As of now I am looking for a aparment !!! Sigh I am ready for this big step

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